Loss PG Version
by TracyT
Summary: This is not the Christmas Jack and Sam wanted it to be - PG version of my M story
1. Chapter 1

Loss Part I

By Tracy  
Category: Angst  
Summary: It's not the Christmas Sam and Jack expected  
Pairing: S/J  
Spoiler: None  
Season: Recent  
Rating: PG  
Archive: yes, please  
Feedback: Greatly desired to: tthurman2001...

Disclaimer: Don't own `em, not making a profit on `em.

Author's note: Sort of a sad answer to the Christmas Challenge this  
year, but I promise it will get better.

**********  
Sam stood at her living room window next to the Christmas tree, arms  
crossed. He was still there, standing motionless, oblivious to the  
rain that had soaked him to the skin. It was a cold, misting rain  
that slowly soaked into everything it touched, making a person  
miserable if they were out in it any length of time. He certainly  
had been, for a ~very~ long time, and he looked absolutely miserable.

With a sigh, Sam wrapped her sweater a little closer around her and  
went out to him. As she crossed the street to the park he raised  
his head a little in acknowledgement of her presence, but made no  
other movement.

"Sir," she stopped a few feet away from him, brows raised in  
question.

"Sam, please," his voice was hoarse, whether from being out in the  
elements so long or from the force of his emotions, she couldn't  
tell. She could smell alcohol on him. He'd been drinking.

She silently cursed the fact that her body instantly reacted to his  
presence. It had been ten days since she'd touched him, ten days  
since they'd made love, and she wanted him so badly it brought tears  
to her eyes. She tried to maintain a tight reign on her emotions,  
when she wanted nothing more right now than to take his hand, lead  
him into her house, take off his wet clothes and drag him into her  
bed.

Instead she gathered her resolve and said, "Sir, I don't think it's  
appropriate for you to be here like this."

"Sir? You're going to call me `sir' now?" There was bitterness in  
his voice.

"As you told me ~sir~, I am to address you as `General' or `sir',  
and I am complying with your order, sir."

He became very still. "That's not fair, Sam…"

"Sir, in compliance with your order, I must insist you address me  
as `Colonel' or `Carter' but not by my given name. Sir."

His jaw was set now. "You're really going to rub my nose in it,  
aren't you? I came here to talk to you about this. You won't talk  
to me on base, you won't return my calls or let me come see you—can  
we talk, please?"

"About what, sir?"

"Us," his voice escalated. "Our relationship. You do remember our  
relationship, don't you?"

Sam dropped her head for a moment. She certainly remembered them  
together. "I think this might have been a mistake, I think we need  
to take a break from our relationship."

He looked like he'd been slapped.

"Isn't that what we've been ~doing~?" The frustration was clearly  
evident in Jack's voice.

"I need some time. Can you give me that?" In contrast, Sam's voice  
became softer.

"Time for what?" He practically snarled the words.

"I need time to think."

"Oh, so you can think yourself right out of this relationship? Is  
that it?"

That finally got a rise out of her. She stepped up closer to  
him. "No. No. That's NOT it. You can't have it both ways, Jack.  
Either we have a relationship or we don't. You can't take an action  
based on your feelings for me and then pull rank on me when I  
question you on it."

Clearly he was angry now, and he practically barked out the  
words, "My decision was NOT based on my feelings for you, and you  
had no right…"

"No right? No right? As your subordinate, no, but as your lover,  
KNOWING you made that decision BECAUSE I was your lover, I had EVERY  
right to question it."

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it with a great effort.  
They faced each other silently for a few moments before he said  
quietly, as if the words were dragged from him unwillingly,

"Are you sleeping with him?"

That threw her until she realized what he meant. "Pete? No. God,  
no, Jack, this has nothing to do with that. Pete called me when he  
came back into town to get the last of his things. He asked me to  
lunch to say good-bye, that was it. As far as I know he's back in  
Denver now. For good, as far as I know--and how dare you ask me  
that?" She thought it had just been cruel coincidence that the one  
time she'd agreed to have lunch with Pete, Jack had shown up and  
seen them.

He looked a little shamefaced, and moved toward her with his arms  
out.

"Sam, I'm sorry, please…"

Sam held her arms up and stepped back, warding him off. If he  
touched her now it would be all over. She had absolutely now  
willpower when it came to him, and he knew it.

His arms dropped to his sides in defeat. He looked at her with sad  
eyes, wounded. His next words cut her to the core, although she  
knew it was partly the alcohol talking.

"You said you loved me."

She immediately had a lump in her throat and her eyes filled.  
Breathing heavily to keep her tears at bay she advanced on him  
again.

"I DO love you, Jack, I DO, but we jumped into this thing without a  
single thought, and I think now we're suffering the consequences."

"Well, I am, anyway," he said bitterly.

Sam turned on him. She was very angry. "Don't you think for one  
minute I'm not suffering, too, but we jumped in with both feet, way  
too quickly…"

"Oh yeah, eight years is just such a short time."

"You know what I mean. We need to set some parameters."

"Parameters?" He looked as if he couldn't believe what he was  
hearing.

"Yes. We need to step back for a while, and then set some guidelines  
for this relationship, if there is going to be a relationship."

He held out placating hands. "Sam, I know you're angry with me…"

"And Jack, I need to be angry until I'm just not angry anymore."

"Sam, we leave tonight for California." Jack was going to a meeting  
in Santa Barbara along with General Vidrine and Major Davis who were  
coming from the Pentagon. Originally, they had planned on Sam going  
with him. Their first trip together. A Christmas trip. She had  
looked forward to it so much, and then all this had come up.

"I think it best if you go on to California, and we can talk when  
you get back." She tried to keep the disappointment out of her  
voice.

He looked at her wordlessly, obviously sharing in her disappointment.

"If that's what you want…" he sounded utterly defeated.

She nodded. "It is. I'll…I'll see you when you get back." With  
that she turned to go.

"I love you, Sam," he called after her, but she refused to turn or  
acknowledge his words.

When she got back into her house, she looked out the window to the  
park, but he was gone.

SJSJSJSJSJSJ

The next day she found herself trying for the third time to write  
her report on the alien device SG-13 had brought back from P3X-452,  
but her mind wasn't on it. Since the fight with Jack, she'd been  
having recurring dreams where she and Jack were making love in  
graphic detail. She'd awaken with Jack's name on her lips, her body  
shaking with need. It usually took her quite a while to calm herself  
and get back to sleep, but she knew it was just because she missed  
him so much and missed making love with him.

Last night had been different. Her dream started out like all the  
others. She was in bed, waiting for her lover, and she heard his  
footsteps coming down the hall. Instead of joining her in bed, as  
the dream usually went, this time he came in the room and stopped at  
the foot of her bed, the light from the hallway behind him, and just  
looked at her for a few moments with a sad smile on his face. Then  
he turned and left, closing the door behind him. For some reason  
when she woke up she'd been terrified. She'd even grabbed the phone  
to call him before she remembered he was already on his way to  
California.

She tried his cell and got his voice mail, then his pager, but he  
never called her back. He probably didn't want to talk to her right  
now and she didn't blame him. Despite her earlier words to him,  
she knew they needed to work this out. With everything she had in  
her she wanted this relationship, and she needed to make Jack  
understand that. She was still hurt and angry at his actions, but  
underneath it all she loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone.  
She shut off the light next to her bed and resolved to call him  
first thing in the morning.

She'd tried his cell four times now and gotten no answer. He would  
have gotten to California late last night, but he should be up and  
about by now. Maybe he just had his phone shut off. Sam decided to  
wait until that evening to try again. She got back to work, but her  
mind continued to dwell on Jack and she couldn't shake a vague sense  
of worry that nagged at the back of her mind.

She glanced at her watch and noticed it was just about lunch time.  
Today was Mexican day. She decided she'd go see if Daniel and Teal'c wanted to  
join her when they appeared at the door to her lab.

Sam smiled. "Hey, Guys. I was just going to come get you and see  
if you wanted to have lunch with me."

Daniel smiled. "Funny you should say that. That's why we came to get you. Teal'c wants enchiladas."

As they started to leave the lab, General Hammond appeared, blocking their way.

"Join us for lunch, General?" Daniel asked.

Hammond shook his head, looking grave. He took a deep breath.

"I'm glad you're all here. I'm afraid we've had some bad news."

Sam frowned. "What kind of bad news?" Her mind immediately went to  
the Ori situation.

" I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the plane carrying General O'Neill, General Vidrine and Major Davis went down in the Rockies just after takeoff."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

See disclaimer in part I

*************

Sam didn't know how she found herself seated in the briefing room,  
facing General Hammond who had come from D.C. to take over command  
of the SGC in Jack's absence. Teal'c had also come immediately from  
Chulak upon hearing the news and was ready to join them in the  
rescue efforts.

"Colonel Reynolds has been conferring with the rescue workers at the  
site. Colonel what can you tell us?" Hammond turned his chair to  
face Reynolds.

Reynolds lips tightened for a moment before he answered. "Well,  
sir, the blizzard is hampering all efforts we make to get to the  
actual crash site. Any aircraft is in danger of going down in the  
storm just like the plane that carried our personnel. One attempt  
was made to get aerial photos of the downed plane and the site  
around it, but only a few pictures were taken before they had to  
abort and come back down."

He opened a folder and distributed the  
grainy pictures showing a small jet at rest atop a craggy peak.  
The tail section was missing and small fires of burning fuselage  
surrounded the plane. The top of the aircraft was completely  
sheared off. Sam's vision blurred. She felt a hand on her arm gave  
Daniel a watery smile.

Reynolds looked toward her, almost in apology. "As you can see,  
there is extensive damage. We'll continue to attempt to reach the  
site, but the chances of anyone surviving a crash like this…" He  
cleared his throat, obviously unwilling to continue.

Hammond gave a short nod. "Thank you, Colonel. I want the rescue  
efforts continued until we know something definitively."

"Yes, sir, that's exactly what we intend to do."

"Thank you for filling us in on the situation. We'll let you get  
back to work."

Reynolds nodded and got up to leave. He stopped by Sam's  
chair. "Colonel, if I may, I want to say that if anyone could  
survive a crash like that, it's General O'Neill. We`re going to do  
our best to bring him home."

Sam nodded and wiped her eyes. "Thank you." Reynolds gave her a  
short smile and headed down the stairs.

"I concur," Teal'c added quietly. "If O'Neill survives, he will  
fight to stay alive."

If he survives, Sam thought to herself.

"Sir," Sam addressed Hammond. "Permission for SG-1 to help out in  
the rescue efforts."

"Colonel, I know you all want to help out, but I don't know if  
that's wise until we know what the exact situation is."

"General," Daniel broke in, "I think we all know what the potential  
outcome might be, but it will be worse for us to hang around doing  
nothing. We need to take some action, keep busy, at least go to the  
site and see it for ourselves." When Hammond continued to look  
uncertain, Daniel added a heartfelt, "Please."

Hammond looked grave, but eventually gave a nod of assent. "All  
right. You have a go. In fact, I'm going with you."

************  
Sam stared absently out the window of the van carrying them to the  
foot of the mountain near the crash site. The blizzard had not let  
up, and it was slow going in the almost white-out conditions. She  
felt someone take the seat next to her and knew without looking it  
was Daniel. He put an arm around her and held her to him. "How ya  
doin', Sam?"

Sam shook her head. "The last thing he said to me was that he loved  
me, and I wouldn't answer him, wouldn't even look at him. I just  
walked away." She wiped a tear away and sniffled.

Daniel squeezed her a little tighter. "Sam, I know you and Jack  
were going through a rough patch, but he knows you love him, and he  
does love you."

Sam leaned her head on Daniel's shoulder. "Thank you for saying  
that in the present tense. I was supposed to go with him, you know."

"Yeah, I know, but Sam, you couldn't have done anything even if  
you'd been there."

"I could have been with him. We could have been together."

Daniel shook his head. "He would have had to worry about you, too.  
In this case he knows that we're out here trying to get to him, and  
he knows with you working on it, he'll be rescued in no time, right?"

Sam smiled briefly. "If there's still time."

***********

Something cold was being sprinkled over Jack's face, but for the  
life of him, he couldn't make himself reach up and brush it away.  
His right temple was throbbing in pain, and his ribs felt like  
busted kindling. He tried to move his legs, but the left one just  
wasn't cooperating. He smelled something burning and cracked an eye  
open to see what it was.

It was the strangest thing. He was strapped into an airline chair,  
but he was sideways. The little window in the fuselage was at his  
feet, and if he looked up he saw darkened sky with a heavy snow  
falling onto the side of his face. He blinked up at it for a  
moment, then craned his neck to look behind him and saw a hole where  
the tail of the plane was supposed to be, and a fire just beyond  
that. This was weird. Was he dreaming?

A low moan came from the front of the plane. "Who's that?" Jack  
managed to call out. There was no answer, then, "Major Davis."

"Hey, Davis, Deja View. Are you hurt?" Silence again, then. "A  
few bumps and bruises, but other than that I seem to be okay. You?"

"I'm pretty sure I have a broken leg, and a few of my ribs feel  
busted. Got a good knock on the head as well. Can you see General  
Vidrine or Captain Parsons?"

"No, I don't see them around me." There was a sound of scuffling  
as Davis pushed himself upright. He glanced at Jack, then moved  
toward the cockpit. When he came back he looked grim.

"The pilot and co-pilot bought it, right?" Jack guessed.

Davis gave a short nod. He crouched down by Jack and looked him  
over. "Yeah, you definitely need a doctor."

"Yeah, cold places seem to hate me. Go check on Vidrine and  
Parsons, okay?"

Davis gave Jack's arm a short pat and stepped over him to the back  
of the plane. "Uh, we seem to have a problem here."

Jack tried to move himself around to see what Davis was seeing, but  
he couldn't do much. "Oh? Other than being in a crashed plane in  
the Rockies kind of problem?"

"Well, let's say in addition to being in a crashed plane in the  
Rockies kind of problem. The entire tail section seems to be gone."

"Gone?"

"Yes, sir, as in ripped off completely."

"Uh, Davis, isn't that where the General and his aide were sitting?"

"Yes sir."

"Oh, crap."

"Yes sir."

***********


	3. Chapter 3

See disclaimer in part I

*****************

"Sir, please." Sam tried to keep her voice from breaking in front of the General. They were all standing amidst the swirling snow at the base camp near the foot of the mountain.

Hammond's lips tightened for a moment. "Colonel Carter, my decision remains the same. Until we know what the exact situation is up on that mountain, I do not want SG-1 joining the rescue efforts."

"General," Daniel broke in, putting a hand on Sam's arm and repeating what he'd said back in the SGC conference room. "I think we all know what we might expect up there, but SG-1 deserves to bring Jack home, however that happens. It's our right and our duty. I think we speak for all of us when we say we won't let anyone else take our place."

"That's exactly right," Sam said softly.

"I concur," Teal'c added.

"I understand how you feel. I feel the same way, but until the rescue team finds General O'Neill, SG-1 is to remain on stand-down." Hammond gave them all a look of sympathy and returned to the tent containing the control center of the rescue.

Daniel gave Sam an "I tried" shrug. She nodded gratefully and they went back to pacing the area waiting for news from the crash site.

Sam noticed a woman a few feet away doing the same thing. Pacing back and forth with a worried look on her face. The woman had dark, almost jet black hair and a very beautiful face with pale, porcelain skin and green eyes. She was also very, very pregnant. 

Sam approached the woman and nodded to her when she caught her eye. "Hi. Sam Carter."

A look of recognition lit the woman's eyes and she almost smiled. "Colonel Carter. I recognize the name." She held out her hand. "Jessica Davis."

Sam knew she looked surprised. "Davis? As in Paul Davis?"

Jessica nodded. "My husband."

Sam gripped her hand a little tighter. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know Major Davis was married."

"Just over a year now." Jessica's lip trembled. "Our baby's due in a month. Paul was really looking forward to it. He couldn't wait to be a daddy."

"Hey," Sam said softly. "Let's not talk in past tense, all right?"

Jessica looked horrified. "Oh, I didn't realize… I didn't mean…"

Sam put an arm around her. "It's okay. Really."

Jessica gave Sam a penetrating stare. "General O'Neill was on that plane, too, wasn't he?"

Sam couldn't hold her gaze. She looked at the ground and nodded.

Jessica squeezed Sam's arm. "Well, until we know the fate of our loved ones, we're in this together, right?"

Sam looked to the top of the mountain, the aforementioned fate of Jack and Major Davis hidden from view. "I guess we are."

**********


	4. Chapter 4

_See disclaimer in Part I_

_****_

_Jack came to with a groan. As it turned out, Davis was just as good as Carter in setting a leg. Mercifully, for both their sakes, Jack had finally passed out and let Davis finish the job._

_He was still lying on the floor of the plane, but something dark was draped over him. He reached up and realized Davis must have pulled him forward between two standing seats and draped a blanket across the arms to keep the snow off of Jack. He'd also zipped Jack into his parka, pulled up the hood to keep him warm, and put his gloves on for him. _

"_Davis?" Jack called out. No answer. "Davis, where are you?" Jack began to feel somewhat alarmed. If something had happened to Davis he was alone and he wasn't exactly in the best shape to save himself at the moment. _

_He struggled to sit up, dislodging his blanket roof, which dumped all of the snow it had collected all over him. "Shit!" He flung it aside and tried to clean himself off. There was a clattering at the back of the plane and Davis appeared through the hole wearing and identical parka to Jack's. "Everything okay, sir?"_

"_Couldn't be better," Jack bit out snarkily. "Where the hell were you?"_

_Davis pushed his hood back. "Doing a little reconnoitering. I think I found us a better shelter than this."_

_Jack craned his head around to look into Davis's face. "Oh? Do tell. What kind of shelter?"_

"_A cave. It's got a kind of narrow opening, but I took a look inside and I think we'll fit."_

_Jack sighed. He couldn't decide what hurt worse, his pounding head, his gouging ribs or his newly set leg. "Sounds lovely, but I'm hardly mobile right now, if you haven't noticed."_

_Davis crouched down next to Jack. "Yeah, that is a problem, but I think if you let me be your crutch we can make it. It's not too far away. It will be slow going, but we can do it."_

"_I like your confidence, Davis, but I'm not making any promises. I'll do what I can, though."_

_Davis gave him a determined look. "That's all I ask, sir."_

_**** _

_The going, as it turned out, was slower than even they had anticipated. The unrelenting snow, carried along by a brutal wind, pelted them heavily. There was about a foot of snow on the ground, making them wade slowly along, Jack's arm around Davis's shoulder. Jack grit his teeth and fought to stay conscious. His ribs felt like cracked eggshells and he wondered if his labored breathing didn't indicate a lung puncture, but he was determined not to let Davis down. _

_He glanced Davis's way, but couldn't see his face due to the fur trim around his hood. He could hear him breathing heavily. He was practically carrying Jack. Jack tried to make a better effort and was rewarded with another stabbing pain in his ribs. He faltered, but Davis dragged him along with him._

_After what seemed hours, Davis pulled him to a crest in a hill. "Sir, I have to put you down for a moment. I think the entrance has been snowed over."_

_Jack nodded and let himself be lowered to the ground. He fought to catch his breath to ask, "How do you even know it's here?"_

"_I left a marker." Davis pointed. A jagged piece of metal stripping had been stabbed into the ground, a mound of snow packed around it to support it. It had a glove on top of it like a flag. _

"_Don't you have one cold hand, Davis?" _

"_No, sir. Not my glove. I found it in the wreckage."_

_Jack's lips tightened. This hadn't just happened to him and Davis, and this was a reminder. "Oh."_

"_Sir, in order to get into the cave, I have to crawl inside. There's no way you'll be able to do the same. Let me crawl in, then I'll have you lie down and I'll have to drag you inside, okay?"_

"_I'm already down here. Let's do it."_

_Davis got down on all fours, shoveled some snow away with his hands, then crawled into the depression and disappeared. His front half appeared again almost immediately. "Lie flat, if you can, sir, and I'll pull you in." Jack did as he was told and felt Davis grab him under the arm pits and drag him in. Jack hissed through his teeth. The pain was incredible. Just as he started to black out again, He was inside. It was almost like the place he and Carter had been stranded in, but thankfully, there was a dirt floor and stone walls instead of ice. Davis sat him up and leaned him against a wall. It was by no means warm where they were, but it felt much better than the outside. _

_Davis took the opposite wall, leaning against it and breathing heavily. Despite the cold, when he pushed back the hood to his parka, he was sweating. "You all right, sir?"_

"_Thanks to you. You did all the work."_

"_I'm just very, very motivated to get out of this in one piece, sir." _

_Jack looked around and saw some animal bones piled into a corner. "Let's just hope whoever lives here doesn't come back anytime soon."_

"_Amen to that, sir."_

_*********_

"_I don't understand. It's almost stopped snowing. Why can't they get up there?" Jessica Davis looked to Sam for the answers._

"_It's lighter down here, for the moment, but there's still heavy snow and a strong wind on top of the mountain. The choppers are still running a risk. I know one of them made a try for it earlier, but I don't know any more than that." Hammond had told Sam that much, but he wasn't exactly forthcoming with the details. Sam knew he was trying to protect her, but it was still dammed frustrating, and she'd told him as much. _

_Jessica frowned. "I'm sorry. I don't want the chopper crew put in any danger, I just…"_

_Sam put a hand on Jessica's back. "I know. Me, too."_

_Jessica gave her a grateful look and wandered over to a row of empty crates that had been stacked in the corner of the control tent. She lowered herself down on one of them slowly and braced her hands on her knees. _

"_You okay?" Sam sat down next to her, concerned._

_Jessica put a hand on her belly. "The baby's moving around a lot lately. Check this out." She opened her coat to show Sam a small bulge protruding from her stomach. She put a thumb against it and slowly pushed until it went back in. The bulge disappeared. She smiled at Sam. "Foot. He stretches himself out and pushes a foot out all the time now. It's like he knows I'm upset and he's reacting, too."_

_Sam looked at her, mouth agape. "Wow. I…I didn't know they could do that."_

"_Oh, yeah. The doctor tells me what you have to watch is the baby getting his foot caught between your ribs. I'm told that's extremely painful. For both of us."_

"_I can imagine. You still have another month to go?"_

_Jessica nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to make it that long. Things have been changing lately. I don't think it will be too long before this little guy makes his appearance." Her smile faded. "Paul was my Lamaze coach. He wanted to be involved in everything."_

_Sam rubbed a hand up and down the other woman's back. "He will. Don't count him out yet."_

_Jessica nodded sadly, but the discouraged look didn't leave her face._

"_Ladies," Colonel Reynolds approached with two Styrofoam cups in his hand. "Something warm to drink?"_

_Sam took her coffee with a smile, but when Jessica started to refuse, Reynolds added "I made yours hot chocolate, ma'am."_

"_Oh, thank you, Colonel." Jessica gave him a grateful look._

"_I have two girls of my own, ma'am. I know the drill. Couldn't get you any marshmallows, though. Sorry." He gave them a curt nod and left them to it._

_Sam and Jessica each took a sip of the very welcome drinks. "So, Jessica, how'd you talk the AF into bringing you to the site? I can't imagine they were too happy about that."_

_Jessica huffed out a laugh. "Oh, no. In fact, they categorically refused to allow me to come. I begged, pleaded, all to no avail. The General I spoke to told me it would be better if I waited at home in Georgetown. They'd let me know what was going on. Ha. When I finally realized I was getting nowhere with them, I booked a commercial flight, and was going to rent a car to drive myself here, but I'm too big to get behind the wheel right now. I had to hire someone to bring me here. I dare them to kick a pregnant woman out of here." _

_Sam huffed out a laugh. "I admire your determination, but you know, it might have been better if you had stayed in Washington."_

"_Hey, you're my cheerleader, here, remember? Don't let me down now."_

_Sam looked at the ground. "I'm hoping for the best, but I think we also have to be prepared for the worst."_

_Jessica opened her mouth to reply when General Hammond entered the tent and approached them. "I just got word. A crew made it to the crash site." Sam and Jessica both tensed for the news. "The bodies of the pilot and co-pilot were found and are being returned to the surface. No one else was in or around the plane but there's evidence of possible survivors."_

"_But if there are survivors, where could they be? Where could they go?" Jessica's voice trembled._

_Hammond shook his head. "I have no idea. I do have to tell you, the entire tail section of the plane was ripped off. If anyone were sitting in that part of the aircraft…" He shook his head and left the words unsaid. _

_Sam heard Jessica say "Oh, God," softly, but couldn't even look at the other woman. All she could do for the moment was bite her lip, trying to maintain some control. She realized that while she was supporting Jessica Davis she didn't have to think about her own situation, think about Jack. She felt her control slip a considerable degree and her vision blurred. At that moment she knew she may never see him again and it was something she couldn't face right now._

_The sky above the tent was filled with the 'thump, thump' of a helicopter approaching. Both women wiped their eyes and went out to see the chopper land in a clearing not too far from the base site. A crowd had gathered filled with rescue workers, military personnel and others who awaited news from the crash site. _

_The rotars on the chopper slowed and eventually stopped. A hush fell over the crowd, knowing what was to come. Reynolds and a couple of others approached the craft and helped the pilot and his crew remove the two body bags. Hammond called out "Tenhut" and all the military snapped to attention in respect for the lives lost. The bags were carried slowly across the clearing into the compound, heading for a tent on the edges of the base site. Sam looked on in horror. This could be Jack. It could very well be Jack in the very near future. _

_An involuntary sob escaped her and she felt an arm wrapped around her. Daniel. He didn't say anything, he just held her to him. Teal'c stood on her other side, silent and stoic, his support an almost tangible thing. _

_*******_

_Jack woke up to find Davis gone again. He'd already made one trip back to the wreckage to retrieve blankets and anything he could find that would burn so he could make a small fire, where was he now?_

_Jack coughed and tasted blood in his mouth. Damn. It was just what he thought. His ribs had stabbed something inside him. Great. It was just his luck to have almost the identical injuries he'd had in Antarctica. Broken leg, concussion, broken ribs with a side of internal bleeding. Lovely._

_Something was shoved unceremoniously into the opening of the cave before Davis appeared again. "Hey, Scrounger, what did you find this time?"_

_Davis pushed his hood back and smiled. "You're confusing me with James Garner, I think. Great movie." He opened the blanket containing the items he'd brought with him. "Got some food, although since it was such a short flight all we have are munchies. Chips, pretzels, cheese in a can, that kind of thing, and several bottles of some pretty good hooch." He held up a bottle of Glenfiddich. "Traveling with Generals pays off, apparently. Thought this might pass as a painkiller for you."_

_Jack made a 'come on' gesture with his hand. "Give." He opened the bottle and took a swig. "Ah, now that's nice."_

_Davis settled himself across from Jack. "How are you doing, sir?"_

_Jack adjusted his position gingerly. "Davis, you've saved my butt on more than one occasion since the crash, lose the 'sir.' It's Jack, okay?"_

_Davis looked at him, considering, and nodded. "Okay, Jack it is. But I really haven't done anything you wouldn't have done for me, had the situations been reversed."_

"_Bull. You've really gone above and beyond. Don't think I'm not grateful."_

_Davis took a slug from his own bottle. "I appreciate that, si…Jack, but I was glad to do it."_

_Jack nodded. They sat in silence for a while until something occurred to Davis. "You never did answer my question, you know."_

_Jack grimaced. "You're as bad as Daniel. I'm the same as I was right after the crash. A little worse off since you're attempt to set my leg, but still about the same."_

_Davis stared at him. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"_

_Jack took another drink and felt liquid fire seep into his bones. "Who? Me? I'm a General. Generals never lie."_

_Davis grunted in disbelief, but declined comment. After a moment a look of realization crossed his face. "Damn. I didn't think…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He flipped it open, and looked disappointed._

_Jack grinned. "Gee, no bars? No cell tower up here? I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you. I think when we get home we should write a very strongly worded letter to the cell providers, don't you?" _

_Davis gave him a wry look. "It could just be interference inside the cave. I'll try outside later. At least if I could get a signal we could let someone know we're okay." He looked at Jack and amended, "Well, alive, anyway." He took a drink and said quietly, "It's Christmas Eve, you know."_

_Jack grunted and refused to meet Davis's eye. "Just another day to me, Davis."_

"_Really? Well, I thought you and Colonel Carter…you know, would be spending it together."_

_Jack took another drink. "Well, you thought wrong. I doubt Colonel Carter even realizes I'm gone. Or cares." He'd said more than he intended. The liquor must be getting to him already._

"_Oh, I'm sure that's not true, sir." _

_Jack grunted and turned his face away, then something occurred to him. He turned back. "How about you, Davis? You got someone at home waiting?"_

_Davis smiled. "Yes, sir. My wife. We're having a baby in about a month and I refuse to miss that."_

"_Wife? Baby? I didn't even know you were married, Davis." Jack had always pictured Davis as someone who was married to his career. Someone who went home to an empty house every night. This was a surprise._

"_For a little over a year now. Jess was my real estate broker when I bought a new townhouse in Georgetown. We spent a lot of time together going over plans and finding potential homes. When I finally found a place, she stopped over the night I moved in with a bottle of champagne to celebrate and ended up staying the weekend." Davis drank from his bottle again. "We christened every room in that house," he recalled fondly._

"_Eww, Davis, TMI." Jack took another drink himself. He was starting to get that warm, floaty feeling and he liked it. _

"_Sorry. The point is, I have been looking forward to our baby being born for a long time now, and no plane crash is going to keep me from it. I WILL be there to see my child grow up. I refuse to accept anything else."_

"_Good for you. Do you know what the baby's going to be?"_

_Davis gave him a quizzical look. Apparently the liquor was getting to him, too._

"_Boy or girl?" Jack elaborated._

"_Oh. No. We wanted it to be a surprise."_

"_So, yellow or green nursery, then?"_

_Davis smiled. "Mint green. Jess and I painted it ourselves." He sobered. "I may never know what sex the baby is now."_

"_Hey, Davis, buck up. You're the one who said he refused to accept defeat. Hang in there."_

"_Yes, sir."_

"_Jack."_

"_Right."_

_*************_


	5. Chapter 5

Loss Part 5

See disclaimer in Part I

*****

Sam woke from a fitful sleep with a gasp. The doctor on duty, Dr. Porter, had insisted both she and Jessica try to get some sleep until they knew of any new developments. Jessica had tossed and turned for a while, until completely exhausted, she had fallen sound asleep. Every time Sam dozed off, her mind was filled with disjointed images of she and Jack. Fighting on missions, making love, arguing. Jack standing in the rain outside her house, begging "Please, Sam." What was most disturbing was she kept replaying what he'd said on Antarctica when she'd asked what happened when his parachute had malfunctioned. Jack's words "I hit the ground, I hit the ground, I hit the ground," kept repeating in her head until she called out "No!" and woke up.

"Sam?" It was Daniel. He pushed the tent flap open to look in at her. "You okay?"

She nodded, but she wasn't. Daniel came and sat next to her. He rubbed a hand up and down her back. "Sorry, but I don't think you are."

Sam's eyes filled with tears. "He thinks I hate him. What if I never see him again? I just lost Dad. I can't…I just can't…" She turned her head into Daniels' shoulder and sobbed silently. Daniel put both arms around her and let her cry. "Hey," He said softly. "Jack's made it out of tighter situations than this, and he knows you love him."

Sam sat up and wiped a hand across her eyes. "Does he? I was really hard on him, Daniel, and now that's how things were left. With him thinking I don't love him anymore."

"Sam, let's wait and see how things turn out, okay? You've been a real rock through the whole thing, taking care of Davis's wife and trying to cope with all this. It's natural it would wear you down after a while. Teal'c and I are here for you, you know."

"I know, and I love you both for it." Daniel smiled into her hair.

He nodded toward Jessica. "How's she doing?"

Sam sniffled and pushed her hair off her brow. "About like you'd think. I'm just glad she can get some sleep. Forget for a while, you know?"

Daniel removed his arm from around her and stood. "And I think that's what you should do, too. When was the last time you slept at all?"

"I've been trying to."

"No, I mean before that."

"I, I'm not sure."

"Just what I thought. Try and lie down for a while at least. I'll let you know if anything happens, okay?"

Sam squeezed Daniel's hand before releasing it and doing as he said. As she lay down, he covered her with the blanket and waggled his fingers at her. "Night, night."

"Thanks, Daniel." He smiled gently and left her to sleep. She actually managed to doze dreamlessly for a while until something awoke her. Jessica was sitting on the side of her cot, sniffling.

"Hey," Sam called softly. "What's wrong?"

"Oh," Jessica wiped her nose with a tissue. "Just feeling sorry for myself. Don't mind me."

Sam sat up and moved to sit next to Jessica. "Hey, join the club. Listen, are you hungry? I could go get us something."

"Not really. I could use something to drink, though."

Sam patted her arm. "Coming right up. Let me put my shoes and coat on and I'll go raid the mess tent, okay?"

Sam was tying her shoes when she heard her name called. Daniel pushed the tent flap back, looking somber. "Sam, Jessica, I…I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. We just got word. They found the tail section of the plane. Two bodies were in it. They're bringing them down the mountain right now."

Both women shot to their feet, gasping. "Who is it ?" Sam demanded. "Did they say?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. As far as we know they haven't been identified yet."

As he spoke the air was pounded with the beat of the approaching helicopter.

***********

"Well, I've never been to Spaaain, but I've been to Oklahoma…" Jack slurred the words as he sung. He stopped. "No, that's not right. It's 'Well I never been to SpainBut I kinda like the music, Say the ladies are insane there, And they sure know how to use it, They don't abuse it, Never gonna lose it, I can't refuse it.'" He chuckled to himself, pleased that he could remember, and continued. 

"Well I never been to England, But I kinda like the Beatles, Well, I headed for Las Vegas, Only made it out to Needles, Can you feel it, It must be real it, Feels so good, Oh, feels so good." He took a swig from the almost empty bottle and saluted with it. Now for the best part, he thought. 

"Well I never been to heaven, But I been to Oklahoma, Well they tell me I was born thereBut I really don't remember, In Oklahoma, not Arizona, What does it matter, What does it matter." He threw the bottle away from him and muttered, "What does it matter." sourly. 

Davis had disappeared again, presumably off to find more hidden treasures, although what could be left in the wreckage was beyond him. He could tell his condition was worsening. The mere act of breathing was painful, and he was weakening. The cold seemed to be seeping into his bones to the point beyond shivering. "Here lies General Jack O'Neill, Popsicle," He muttered.

He dozed for a while, helped along by the alcohol, until he heard a commotion at the entrance and knew Davis had returned. Once again, he had a blanket containing some new stuff. "Whatcha got now, Davis?"

Davis whipped off the blanket to reveal several seat cushions from the plane. "Voila! I figure we can make a bed for you and get you up off the ground."

"Hey, great. I thought my butt was permanently frozen down here. That's really great." 

Davis helped him sit up and arranged the cushions so Jack could lie on them more comfortably. "There. Better?"

"Much. Thanks. Listen, Davis, I just want to say, you've really been a blessing during this mess. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Hey, buy me lunch in the commissary at the SGC when we get back and we'll call it even, okay?"

"You may have to have that lunch on your own."

Davis held up a finger. "Now, no talk like that. It's not over till it's over."

Jack looked at Davis seriously. "We may be rapidly approaching 'over'."

Davis frowned. "That bad?"

"It's not good. I haven't told you this before, but I've been coughing up blood. Quite a bit of it."

"Why didn't you tell me? You shouldn't have had all that liquor!"

Jack shrugged. "At this point, what does it matter?" 

"General, there's something else you need to know."

"What's that?"

"When I went back to the plane, the pilot and co-pilot were gone. I think we missed the rescue crews. The good news is, the snow has stopped for the moment and the wind has died down."

Jack nodded. "That makes my next decision a lot easier. They'll be back. I want you to go back to the wreckage and catch them the next time they come looking. Get yourself out."

"Yes sir. I'll bring back help."

"No. I don't want you or the crews to risk it. Just go."

Davis shook his head decisively. "Not without you, sir. I won't do it."

"Davis, listen to me. We both know the risks, and the thing is, even if you bring back help, I won't make it."

"Sir…"

"I've been to this party before, Davis. I know what's happening to me. Just let an old General die in peace, okay? Go home and help your wife have that baby."

Davis gave him a hard look. "Let me try one more thing." Without waiting for Jack's consent, he crawled out the cave entrance and was gone. After a few minutes Jack thought he heard Davis call out "Yes!" 

****

The chopper landed. The pilot killed the engines, and Reynolds and his men approached the craft just like before. This time when Hammond called them to attention, Sam started to run toward the chopper. A pair of strong arms stopped her. Teal'c. "Colonel Carter," his voice sounded unbearably sad. "Let Daniel Jackson determine the identities of the recovered bodies before you approach them."

Sam struggled. "Let me go, Teal'c."

"Sam," Daniel's voice was low. "He's right. Let me go see who it is first, okay?" He held her eyes for a moment before he joined Reynolds at the chopper's door. He spoke with him for a moment, nodded and dropped his head for a moment, either from grief or relief remained to be seen. He said something to Reynolds and put a hand on his arm before he walked slowly back to the others.

"It's General Vidrine and his aide Major Parsons. It looks like they died in the initial crash."

The relief was so great Sam slumped in Teal'c's arms, causing him to hold her up instead of restrain her. "Oh, God." She pushed herself upright and Teal'c released her. "It's not them. It's not them." She faced Jessica Davis, who stood still as a statue. One hand over her mouth, the other on her stomach. Sam put her hands on Jessica's arms. "Jess, It's not them."

Jessica removed the hand over her mouth. Her face was pale and a tear ran down her cheek. "If it's not them, then where are they?"

***********


	6. Chapter 6

Loss Part 6

See Disclaimer in Part I

*****

As the body bags carrying General Vidrine and Major Parsons were carried into the same tent the pilots had been taken, Jessica hugged Sam and rested her forehead on Sam's shoulder. "I don't think I can take much more of this." Sam knew how she felt. Her own nerves were at breaking point as well. Sam opened her mouth to reply, but found that no words were forthcoming. Finally she managed to say in a shaking voice, "I know. Let's go get something to drink, okay? Jessica nodded listlessly.

Leaning weakly on each other, they made their way toward the mess tent when Jessica's knees buckled. Sam tried to keep her upright, but realized Jessica had fainted. "Teal'c! Help me." Teal'c scooped Jessica up in his arms and carried her immediately to the medical tent, Sam and Daniel in his wake.

Dr. Porter checked her out and determined that she was not in labor, as they had feared. "She's been under a great deal of emotional strain, as you can imagine. She needs to be kept quiet and rest for a while. I want her to stay here until I can make a determination that she's fit enough to leave the bed."

"Doctor, is the baby all right?" Daniel asked.

"As far as I can tell, the baby is fine, but on the other hand, all this stress his mother is going through can't be doing him any good, either."

They all sat by Jessica's bed until she awoke a little while later. She looked pale and drawn and responded to them listlessly, refusing food and drink. "I'm just so tired," she said in a weak voice.

Sam squeezed her hand. "I know. This is a terrible strain. You rest and let us keep an eye on things, okay? I promise to let you know if I hear anything."

"Thank you, Sam. You've been a good friend through all this. You all have." Her gaze encompassed Daniel and Teal'c as well.

A sudden shrill ringing interrupted whatever the others might have said. "That's my cell phone. It's probably my mother." Jessica said. "It's in my coat pocket. Can you get it for me?" Sam handed it to her and Jessica flipped the phone open and answered it. "Hello?"

As Sam watched Jessica dropped the phone in shock, but grabbed it back up quickly. Her eyes filled with tears as she breathed, "Paul? Oh my God, is that really you? Where are you? Oh God, honey, where are you? She was crying uncontrollably.

*************

Davis stood at the entrance to the cave, cell phone pressed to his ear. He had finally gotten a signal! He was smiling, but rubbed a hand across his face to wipe a tear away. "Jess, hey, yeah it's me. No, no, I'm fine, just a little worse for the wear, bumps and bruises, you know. I'm in a cave right near the crash site. Yeah, I know, we missed the rescue crew. I just got the cell phone to work. How's our baby doing? I love you. Please don't cry." He sniffled and wiped away another tear.

"Listen, General O'Neill is with me and he, well, he isn't doing very well. He really needs to get to the hospital. He's in pretty bad shape. Yeah, he can talk, but I can't get him to the entrance to the cave without hurting him more, and I'm afraid the signal will get dropped if I go inside." He heard Jess talking to someone else nearby.

"Paul? Listen, can you try? Sam Carter's here and she really needs to talk to the General."

"I'll give it a try, but if we lose the signal I'll call right back or you call me, okay?"

He crawled back into the cave. Jack had heard the commotion and watched his approach looking more alert than he had lately. "Davis, what's going on?"

"Got a signal for the cell. I've been talking to my beautiful wife, now Colonel Carter wants to talk to you. I told them the signal might not hold in here, but we'll give it a try." He handed Jack the phone.

"Carter? Is that you?"

"Jack, Oh my God, Jack…" She was crying.

"Listen Sam, there's not much time…"

"I love you, Jack."

Jack put a tight rein on his emotions. "Sam, I want you to get the rescue crews up here and pick Davis up. He'll be waiting by the crash site."

"But what about you? Where are you so we can come get you?"

Jack shook his head. "Not going to happen. Listen to me. My will and all my other personal papers are in the safe in my office at home. My lawyer's name and number are on them. Contact him and he'll handle everything. If they manage to get me down from here come spring, I want to be buried next to Charlie, you got that?"

"Jack, no."

"Then put Daniel on the phone and I'll have him handle it, if you're not willing," he growled.

"Jack, we're coming to get you."

"Negative. It's too risky and I won't make it anyway. Just make sure Davis gets home in time to see his kid born, okay?"

"Jack…"

"One last thing. I believe I told you it was an honor to serve with you before, and that still stands. Tell Teal'c and Daniel, too. You three are my family."

"No, Jack…"

"Shut up for just one more minute, okay? The last thing I want to say to you, Samantha Jean Carter, is that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life, aside from Charlie. You and he are the greatest things that ever happened to me. I don't want you mourning me, you got that? I know I screwed it all up, but underneath it all I still love you with everything I have in me, and I won't have you wasting your life being sad for me."

"Jack…" Sam sobbed his name.

"Be happy, Sam. That's an order." He quickly shoved the phone back at Davis, and wiped his eyes. "Go, Davis. They'll meet you at the crash site." He turned away and tried not to hear any more of the conversation.

*****


	7. Chapter 7

Sam watched out the window of the circling helicopter. Below she could see the wreckage of the downed plane scattered across the landscape. A figure in a parka was turned away from the snow that was churned up by the landing chopper. When they finally set down, Sam was the first out the door, dropping into deeper snow than she expected. It came nearly to her knees and she had to wade through it to meet Davis.

He grabbed her upper arms, but had to shout over the noise from the helicopter's engines and the roaring of the wind.

"Colonel Carter. How's my wife doing? How's Jess?"

"Better, now she's talked to you. She's waiting for you on the surface. How's the General?"

Davis's face went from worried to grim instantly. "I won't lie to you. He's not good. In fact, I hope we make it back to him in time. It's quite a trek back to the cave. Hope you brought a med team with you."

Sam nodded. "You bet we did." She turned to look at the others exiting the chopper, Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond included. She turned back to Davis. "Where is he?"

****

It took them longer than expected to reach the cave. The vicious wind at this elevation whipped snow at them that made them feel like they were being pelted with gravel. As luck-or lack thereof-would have it, the wind blew directly toward them, slowing them down and making them fight their way, heads down, toward their destination.

"There it is!" Davis, leading the way, shouted to them. Sam tried to see what possible markers let him know this was the place, but couldn't see anything past the stinging of her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I've been back and forth from the wreckage to this cave several times, Colonel. I'm sure. Besides, I left a flag behind. They had reached Davis's makeshift glove marker. 

"I don't see an entrance." Sam squinted at the ground.

"It's been snowed over. If I could get some help here." Davis dropped to his knees and was joined by Daniel and Teal'c, who helped him scoop snow with his hands until a small opening was revealed. 

Davis leaned down and yelled into the hole, "Sir…Jack… I've brought guests." No answer. Davis turned his head to look at Sam briefly before crawling through the hole and disappearing. Sam dropped down and followed him immediately.

The cave was big enough to stand in, once you got past the opening area. Sam pushed her hood back and looked around. Dirt floor, stone walls, a fire that Davis had left for Jack, was now just embers giving off little or no light. Debris from food wrappers and empty bottles. Then her eyes fell on the figure a few feet away. An unmoving, extremely still figure, silhouetted by the glow from the fire on his far side. A shiver ran through Sam as she thought that this remote, isolated hole in the ground had become Jack's tomb.

She was on her knees beside him before anyone else could react. "Jack." She cupped his face in her hands. He was so pale, and his skin was cold to the touch. Panic flared instantly inside her. "No, no." Her voice broke. "Jack, it's Sam. Talk to me." There was no reaction to he words.

"Sam," It was Daniel, on his knees beside her, taking her shoulders in his hands. "Let Dr. Porter and his team take a look at Jack, okay? They can help him." Sam let Daniel lead her a few feet away, where she watched the med team working on Jack. She couldn't breathe when Dr. Porter opened Jack's parka, uniform jacket and shirt. He put a stethoscope to Jack's chest and listened, while putting fingers to the carotid artery in his neck, changing position when apparently he didn't find a pulse. It seemed to take forever, but finally he took the stethoscope from his ears and nodded to them. "He's alive, but just barely. We have to get him out of here as soon as possible." The team stabilized Jack as best they could. They gave him an injection of something and inserted an IV into his arm. His ribs were wrapped with bandages to secure them, and the team did a better job of setting and splinting his leg. Jack's head was lifted to put the straps of an oxygen mask over it, and finally he was zipped back into his parka.

Before they left, Dr. Porter had wisely sent for one of the covered stretchers, just like the one Jack had been transported in when he'd contracted the disease from Ayiana during their second visit to Antarctica. Sam felt a little nauseous thinking of him being carried to his blending with Kanan, but firmly pushed that memory aside. The HazMat stretcher would keep him safe from the elements as they transported him back to the chopper. 

The med team managed to wedge a blanket under Jack. Two on each side grabbed the edges of the blanket and lifted Jack into the shelter of the stretcher. The problem was getting it out of the cave's small opening. This was solved by Daniel crawling outside and pulling, while Teal'c pushed from inside. Once everyone had exited, the med team moved to pick up the stretcher. "Wait just a minute," General Hammond held up a hand to stop them. "Our people, SG-1, have the right and duty to bring General O'Neill home, and that's just what they're going to do." He met Daniel's eyes, and Daniel nodded back in gratitude.

Sam, Daniel, Teal'c, Davis, General Hammond and Reynolds lifted the stretcher to carry back to the chopper. Sam tried to push the thought of pallbearers out of her mind. They had found Jack and now they would get him home. She glanced down at him for reassurance, and with renewed determination, kept moving.

Mercifully, The wind was at their backs this time, and it seemed that they made it back to the chopper much faster, although Sam was exhausted by the time they loaded Jack inside and got in themselves. 

The helicopter lifted off, and Sam heard Major Davis huff out a breath. He met her eyes and gave her a short tight grin. "Can't say I'm sorry to see the back of that place. Wasn't sure we were going to get out of there." Sam nodded in understanding and patted him on the shoulder.

It seemed like it took no time to get back to base camp. As they got lower, Sam could see the inhabitants of the camp standing at attention for the last time. This time, they could take some solace in the fact that this trip brought back survivors. She glanced at the stretcher holding Jack and had to fight back a lump in her throat.

The helicopter touched down with a thump, and several people rushed forward to help open the doors. A cheer went up when Major Davis got out and raised a hand to them, but the mood changed abruptly when he turned back to help SG-1, Hammond and Reynolds remove the stretcher carrying Jack. Major Pearce called attention again, and they all saluted as Jack was carried to another, long range helicopter that would take them back to the SGC. 

After the stretcher was loaded into the SGC helicopter, SG-1 and Hammond climbed into the chopper for the return trip. Reynolds held back, explaining, as the one in charge of base camp, he had to stay. "Tell the General I wish him Godspeed." He rapped twice on the stretcher with his knuckles, saluted them all and backed away. 

Davis, not surprisingly, held back, too. With a look of regret he said, "I gotta go find Jess. I'll catch up with all of you at the SGC later, okay?" He was the one to slam the chopper door shut and pound on its side to let the pilot know it was okay to take off. He stood with a hand raised until they lifted off, then Sam saw him running for the med tent.

TBC

***********


	8. Chapter 8

Part Eight/Conclusion. See disclaimer in part one.

***********

Sam was startled when a mug appeared in her line of vision. "Here, Sam, I brought you some coffee," Daniel said softly.

She nodded to him gratefully, taking the cup and taking a welcome sip. They had been waiting in the hallway outside the infirmary, alternately pacing, then sitting glumly staring at their hands. Jack had been in surgery for hours, and Sam wished someone would just tell them SOMETHING.

General Hammond would come and go, checking on Jack's status, but he had a base to run as interim commander, so he could never stay long. Sam envied him having something to do while he waited for word.

Teal'c, as usual, remained calm and serene throughout. He didn't pace, or mainline coffee like Sam and Daniel. He meditated, only opening his eyes when someone came down the hallway in their direction.

Sam sighed. During the whole trip back Jack had not stirred once, gave no sign of life, and she had to admit that terrified her. What if they'd found him too late? She firmly pushed the thought aside and took another sip of coffee.

Finally the door to the infirmary opened, and Dr. Brightman appeared. Sam, Daniel and Teal'c all shot to their feet immediately. Dr. Brightman was dressed in green surgical scrubs, with mesh booties covering her shoes and a matching covering for her hair. She removed the cap and ran a weary hand across the back of her neck. "General O'Neill is out of surgery. He's very weak. He bled internally for a long time before we got to him, but… I'm cautiously optimistic."

They all breathed a sigh of relief. "When can we see him?" Sam tried to keep the tremor from her voice.

"He's in recovery right now. I'll let you know when we move him to a bed in ICU."

More waiting. Great. Sam didn't think she could stand much more. Her feelings must have shown on her face because Dr. Brightman reached over and squeezed her arm. "Colonel, it's going to take some time to make sure he's stable enough to be moved out of recovery. I suggest you all go about your normal duties, and I promise you I'll let you know as soon as we transfer him to ICU."

Easy for her to say, Sam thought, but merely nodded to the doctor. Dr. Brightman returned to the infirmary and closed the door. Daniel ran a hand over his face and huffed out a sigh. He turned to Sam with a weak smile. "Well, that's good news. _I _suggest we all go to the commissary and get something to eat. I've had so much coffee that I think I slosh when I walk. What do you say, Sam? I think it's Italian today. I know how you love the zucchini lasagna."

Sam glanced at her two friends and realized they were both watching her with varying degrees of worry on their faces. Teal'c's, of course, was much more subtle, but still, after knowing him so long it was clearly evident to her. She mustered up a smile and held an arm out in the general direction of the commissary. "Lead the way."

*****

Sam couldn't remember the last time she'd actually eaten anything, but even so, all she could do was push her lasagna around the plate. Every bite she took tasted like sawdust in her mouth. Daniel and Teal'c, however, didn't seem to share her lack of appetite. They ate heartily while she watched and picked at her food.

Even her blue Jell-O didn't appeal to her. Probably because it was something she and Jack usually shared. He'd have red and she'd have blue and they'd grin at each other over spoonfuls. She pushed it to the side and sighed.

"Sam," Daniel had apparently been watching her. "At least TRY to eat something. It's been a while since you've eaten and your blood sugar's low. You'd feel a lot better if you took in some nourishment."

Sam took in Daniel's worried face, and noticed Teal'c had stopped eating to observe her, too. She nodded reluctantly. "I know, I just can't seem to do it." She took a small bite of the lasagna to appease them, but couldn't manage more than that.

"So," Daniel said briskly, apparently deciding a change of subject was in order. "Do we know if anyone has heard from Major Davis? Any news on the baby?"

Sam and Teal'c shook their heads. "No. General Hammond might know something, but he hasn't said."

"General Hammond might know what?" The man himself appeared at their table.

"We were just wondering if there was any news from Major Davis," Daniel clarified.

"Well, Major Davis has called a few times to check up on Jack, but so far there's no news about the baby. Apparently he and Mrs. Davis are doing fine. They are staying in quarters at the Air Force Academy. Understandably, neither one wants to fly home right now." The General huffed out a sigh. "Dr. Brightman sent me to tell you that General O'Neill has been moved to room number twelve, just off the infirmary." When they all moved to get up, he held out a hand. "I want you to be prepared, people. He's still unconscious and he's been through a lot, the surgery included. I looked in on him just before I came to get you, and I have to say he's very frail right now. Dr. Brightman says it's just going to take time for him to improve, all right?"

Frail. Sam couldn't wrap her head around the word in reference to Jack O'Neill. They'd seen him injured before, but 'frail' was never how she would have described him He was always so vital and full of life, even when sick or hurt it seemed to emanate from him. She braced herself for how she might find him, and followed Daniel and Teal'c from the commissary.

**********

As they came through the door, Sam stopped in her tracks in shock. Jack was lying in his bed hooked up to so many tubes and wires she could barely see the man himself. He looked smaller than usual in the bed and he was so still she found she could barely take a breath.

He was hooked up to a respirator that hissed in and out, a heart monitor beeped in time to his heart, and an IV tube stuck out of his forearm. He had several monitors also hooked up here and there monitoring all his vital functions. His leg was encased in a cast and raised in traction.

It must have been like this at McMurdo, she thought. However, that time she wasn't able to see him for a few days because they had held her for observation before she finally took the initiative and snuck into his room one evening after supper. He'd been awake then, and had teased her weakly about not following orders. That had made her feel better immediately, that he could joke around. Now, the way he looked scared her, made her feel that they hadn't really gotten him back, hadn't saved him. His position was still precarious and they were powerless to do anything to intervene.

She approached the bed, and leaned over to brush his hair back from his brow. His hair was a bit longer than he'd worn it before becoming General, and she liked feeling its silkiness under her fingers. His skin felt cool to the touch. He didn't react at all. She pressed her lips to his forehead, and said softly, "Hey, Jack. It's Sam. We're all here for you. You're back at the SGC, and you've just come out of surgery. You're going to be fine. You're safe now." No response, but she really didn't expect one. She continued to smooth his hair back from his brow, just watching him until she felt a hand on her back. It was Teal'c. He'd pulled a chair up to the bed for her. She smiled gratefully at him and sat down, clasping Jack's hand in hers. Daniel took a chair on the other side of the bed, and Teal'c took one at the foot. They all hunkered in for the duration.

*****

Days later there was virtually no change and Sam was starting to worry. Dr. Brightman said Jack's vitals were improving and he'd wake up in his own time, but Sam couldn't stop the anxious feeling she had that Jack was standing on a precipice that would either propel him forward, or drop him inexorably backward.

"Talk to him, read to him, give him some stimulation," Dr. Brightman advised. "Many patients report being able to hear being talked to while unconscious or in a coma. It might just do the trick."

And so it began. Sam would hold his hand, stroke his arm or forehead and talk to him about nothing, really. Teal'c would advise him to be strong, and Daniel would read to him from his archaeology journals, figuring it would drive Jack so crazy he'd be forced to wake up to escape it.

The only improvement was Jack began mumbling a bit. It was made all the more unintelligible coming from under the oxygen mask, but every time he did it, they'd all jump up and remove the mask a little trying to hear what he was saying. Dr. Brightman's opinion was that this was an involuntary response and told them not to take too much stock in it.

Sam had a TV/VCR brought into the room and played the Simpson's for him, Teal'c had found a copy of Moby Dick in Jack's office and began reading it to him. Sam and Daniel sat transfixed, listening to Teal'c's powerful voice reading the words so eloquently. Daniel brought in a boom box and played some of Jack's opera CD's for him, but nothing seemed to make much difference.

General Hammond would look in on them occasionally. They knew he could order them all back to duty anytime now, or order them off base, but he never did. He let them continue their vigil at Jack's bedside without comment, and they were all grateful.

One day Sam was left alone in the room with Jack. Daniel had gone for a shower, while Teal'c offered to go fetch breakfast for them all. She sat, as usual, right next to the bed with Jack's hand in hers. She stood, and once again stroked the hair back from his forehead. "You and I need to talk, you know," she began. "Before all this, before the plane crash, I was very angry with you. I couldn't see how you could do that to me. Undermine my authority with my team, but I think I see all that very differently now. I understand that your feelings for me made you want to protect me more than you usually do. I see that because I know if the positions were reversed and I could have done anything to prevent what you've just gone through, I would, no matter how angry it made you toward me."

She brushed a tear aside, and sniffled. "I love you, Jack, and I know I'd do anything to protect you. Which means, I am NOT letting you go, you hear me, Jack O'Neill? I expect you to be around to see our grandchildren grow up, so you have some recovering to do, you got that, mister?" She kissed his forehead, and was surprised when Jack mumbled something.

She pulled the oxygen mask away once again. "Jack, can you hear me?" Nothing. Sam sighed in frustration and replaced the mask again.

Soon Daniel and Teal'c returned. Teal'c took the seat on the other side of the bed and opened Moby Dick, preparing to continue with the story. Sam held up a hand. "Not today, Teal'c. I think we need to take a different tactic.'

Teal'c closed the book and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Sam?" Daniel sounded doubtful.

Sam held up a finger. She went to the VCR and turned on the latest episode of the Simpson's, but only let it play to the first commercial break. She then turned it off abruptly. Daniel and Teal'c both looked confused. Sam went back to the bed and took Jack's chin between her fingers. "That's it, Jack." Her voice was firm. "You're getting a little too comfortable, I think. No more story, no more Simpson's, and no more talk from us until you wake up, you hear me? You need to make a better effort here, General."

She retook her seat, and looked at Daniel and Teal'c. They nodded their understanding, and settled down to wait.

**********

Jack's consciousness had retreated to a place deep within himself. It had hidden itself away in this manner many times before and was very familiar here. All he knew was that in this place he was warm and dry and most importantly, he was safe. As long as he stayed here he was completely removed from a situation he found intolerable. Jack O'Neill was a fighter, but he knew this was the end and he chose to spend it as removed from the fear and pain as possible.

Sam. The thought rose up unbidden, and he tried to push it away. If he thought of Sam he couldn't do this, couldn't maintain his place here. He could almost hear her voice, feel her touch, but he couldn't let that wear him down.

He instead focused on his current dwelling. He felt familiar vibrations almost speaking to him, comforting him, and it fed his soul. It had become quite pleasant here, and he had settled himself down in contentment.

However, lately, all the comforting vibrations had ceased. It was too quiet now, and he wondered why. His consciousness, the one who had been retreating further and further into itself, stopped, hesitated and listened. Wondering why things had become so quiet, so isolated, so…lonely. And because of this, Jack's consciousness turned and retraced its steps to investigate this unwelcome change.

*****

Something roused Sam from a doze a little while later. She frowned, trying to identify the source of the sound she was hearing until she realized it was Jack mumbling again. This time the mumbling went on longer than usual. She leaned in trying to hear what he was trying to say, but couldn't catch the thread of it. "Jack?" She put a hand on his cheek, but there was no response. He did, however, continue to mumble.

Teal'c was leaning close trying to hear him as well. Daniel woke up and stood at the end of the bed trying to listen, but shook his head indicating he couldn't catch what was being said, either.

Finally Teal'c looked up at Sam. "It appears he is lamenting the fact that he has never been able to travel to Spain…possibly Oklahoma as well."

Sam frowned, but Daniel barked out a laugh. When Teal'c and Sam looked at him, he explained, "It's a song, you know, 'Well, I never been to Spain, but I've been to Oklahoma…" He sang a few bars.

Sam grinned and nodded, and Teal'c raised his head in understanding. Sam stood and cupped Jack's cheek in her hand. He continued to sing softly. "Hey, Jack, are you trying to come back to us?"

The singing stopped abruptly. Jack's eyes fluttered, but fell shut again. From the confines of the oxygen mask the word, "Carter?" could be clearly heard. Sam, Daniel and Teal'c all exchanged delighted grins. "Yes, Jack, it's me. Daniel and Teal'c are here, too."

Jack's breathing seemed a bit more labored, but he nodded weakly. "Tell Daniel…" he stopped. Afraid Jack might slip backward away from them again, Sam put a firm hand on his shoulder trying to ground him there. "Tell Daniel what, Jack?" When there was no response, Daniel came around the bed and put a hand on Jack's opposite shoulder. "Tell me what, Jack?"

Jack's throat worked as he swallowed. "That's not right." His voice was very weak.

Daniel frowned. "What's not right, Jack?"

"The words…I got them wrong…It's not Spain and Oklahoma…It's…something else. I always…get that part wrong."

Daniel grinned. "Okay, Jack, we'll straighten that out later, okay?"

Jack nodded. "Gonna go back to sleep now." This had obviously taken a lot out of him.

Sam smiled, and wiped away a tear. "Okay, you go back to sleep now. We'll be right here."

************

Jack came awake slowly, cracking an eye open to find himself in the infirmary of the SGC. Ah, home. He glanced to one side to behold Daniel asleep in a chair next to the bed. His glasses were askew, and his mouth was hanging open, emitting a low snore. Teal'c was sitting on the floor doing his meditations. He didn't need to Kel-no-reem any longer, but he found meditating beneficial and familiar, so he continued. Sam's chair was pulled right up to his bed, clasping his hand in hers. Her face was turned away from him on the mattress, but he could tell from her even breathing that she was asleep. He smiled and lifted his other hand to stroke her hair back from her cheek. She awoke instantly, and turned to him, sleepy blue eyes trying to focus. "Jack," she said softly. "You're awake."

Teal'c was immediately alert, and Daniel blearily sat up, adjusting his glasses. "Hey, Jack, we were wondering how long you'd sleep."

Jack tried to answer, but found his throat wouldn't work. Sam poured out a glass of water for him and held it to his lips. He took several long sips, cleared his throat and said quietly, "So, when do I get the rest of my story?"

*********

Two days later Sam was feeding Jack some ice chips from a plastic cup, while Teal'c continued to read Moby Dick. The door opened and General Hammond stuck his head inside. "How are you doing, Jack?"

"Better now I'm home, General. Won't be up and about for awhile, but doing better every day."

"Good to hear." Hammond beamed. "I have some good news for all of you. I just got a call. Miss Samantha Noelle Davis was born this morning at 4:12 a.m." He held up a piece of paper. "She weighed 9 lbs, 8 ounces, and is 20 inches long. Mother and baby are doing just great, according to Major Davis. The family is currently at the Air Force Academy hospital, but Davis said they'll bring the baby around as soon as they can."

Everyone made sounds of happiness at the news. "Hey, Carter, you have a namesake," Jack grinned at her.

Sam looked astounded. "Wow. I don't know what to say."

"Major Davis said his wife told him what a help you were to her during this ordeal and they wanted to name her after you. Noelle was already picked out because she was due to be born so close to Christmas." Hammond said.

"Christmas," Daniel said as if just being reminded of it. "Well, that came and went without notice this year, didn't it?" It was currently December 29.

"We'll have to have a late celebration," Sam said.

"Christmas at New Year's," Jack grinned at them all. "Speaking of Major Davis, sir, I need to talk to you about recommending him for about a dozen medals and perhaps a promotion or two. He went way above and beyond for me out there, putting himself at risk over and over again in the process."

"Already in the works, General. I expect he'll be Colonel Davis before we get much past the new year."

"Good to hear, sir. I'd like to volunteer to pin him, when the time comes."

Hammond grinned. "I thought you might say that. That's already in the works, too."

Hammond only stayed a few more minutes, then excused himself to get back to work.

"Well that's good news. Things are looking up, no?" Jack's smile encompassed them all. He made a beckoning gesture at Teal'c. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Story." Jack clarified.

*********

Sam entered the room quietly, pushing the door slowly shut behind her. It was a week later, and Jack was recovering nicely. It would take a long time for him to be 100%, but it was a start. Everyone had gone back to work, letting Jack sleep through the day. Teal'c had finished Moby Dick and would come back in the evening to read him Ernest Hemingway's "For Whom the Bell Tolls."

In the meantime, Sam gauged Jack's recovery by his restlessness in the infirmary. She had caught a couple of the nurses commenting that it had been so much nicer when he was unconscious, and he was definitely back to his old self. They had looked shocked to see Sam standing there, but she just gave them a smile of understanding and carried on.

Jack was sleeping right now, or so she thought. He opened one eye when she approached the bed and held a hand out to her. When she placed her hand in his he kissed the back of it and held it to his chest. "Did I ever tell you that you are a sight for sore eyes…and head, and ribs, and leg?"

Sam made sympathetic noise and kissed his head. "Painkillers not doing the trick tonight?"

Jack looked sulky. "I'm tired of painkillers, and I'm tired of lying in this bed. And I'm mostly tired of bossy nurses."

Sam bit back a smile. "Well, you're just going to have to give it some time."

"It's had all the time I want to give it."

Sam sighed. "I don't think it works that way."

Jack grumbled. "Don't suppose we have a spare sarcophagus in storage, do we?"

"Nope. Sorry."

Jack squeezed her hand. "Hey, when I finally get sprung from this place, what say you and I go on a trip together, like we planned before?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind, General?" Her lips hovered over his.

He ran a thumb across her chin. "Someplace I can get you alone and have my wicked way with you--someplace warm," he amended.

"Sounds lovely, but I don't think they'll be any wicked-way-having for a while longer. You have some healing to do."

"You're sure we don't have a sarcophagus around?"

"Pretty sure." When Jack scowled at her, she added, "but I'll check."

She went down to the commissary and found Daniel eating rice pudding and reading a large, old book.

"Hey," she said as she sat down opposite him.

"Hey." He put the book down to give her his full attention. "How's Jack doing?"

Sam huffed and dropped her chin on her hands. "Grumpy."

"So, better then. Good to hear." When she didn't respond he added, "Hey, you wanted to get him back."

Sam made a face at him. "We wouldn't happen to have a sarcophagus lying around anywhere, do we?"

Daniel gave an exaggerated shudder. "God, I hope not. Even if we did, it would be sent to Area 51, anyway."

"Yeah. Jack wanted me to ask."

"Getting restless, is he?"

"You could say that."

Daniel picked his book up again. "Well, better hope Teal'c has a LOT more books to read to him."

*********

Two days later the Davis family appeared for a visit. Jack got to meet Jess, who looked radiant and so happy, and he'd gotten to hold little Sam, which seemed to raise his spirits considerably. The baby had dark hair, like her parents, and when she opened sleepy eyes to them Sam could tell they were her mother's green."

"Scrounger, you did good," Jack addressed Davis.

"Well, I didn't do it all by myself, you know."

"I wasn't talking about the baby--although she is pretty spectacular."

Davis's smile faded. "Yes, she is. I was glad to do it, sir. And I'm glad you're so much better."

They'd left soon after. Jess had given Sam a big hug on the way out. "I guess we both got what we wanted, right?

Sam sniffled and blinked away moist eyes. "Yeah, I guess we did."

*****

Sam was reassessing all this a day later when Jack reached maximum grumpiness. She was toying with the idea of smothering him with a pillow, a thought she was sure the nurses wholeheartedly seconded, when Daniel and Teal'c joined them. "I'm telling you, if they don't let me outta here soon, I'm going to go freakin' nuts!" Jack groused.

Sam held back voicing the thought that he was taking the rest of them with him, when Daniel said, "Gee, Jack, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel."

Suddenly there was a flash of light and Thor appeared before them, looking around in mild interest.

"Thor! Buddy!" Jack was suddenly smiling.

Thor nodded. "O'Neill. I apologize for the delay in coming. Our fleet has been in deep space for the last few months. I see you are recovering."

Jack shrugged. "You could say that. It will take some time to mend , but I should be up and about in a couple months."

Thor's large eyes grew even larger. "That long? I believe I may be able to help." Without warning he and Jack disappeared in another flash of light.

"Thor!" Sam and Daniel shouted. Teal'c looked skyward.

They were all at a loss as to what to do, when the flash of light appeared again, and Jack appeared standing in front of the bed he had just vacated. Daniel, who was behind him said, "Uh, Jack…" and gestured towards Jack's back.

Jack started to turn, realized what Daniel was referring to and quickly grabbed the back of his hospital gown, closing the gap. He scurried back into bed and pulled the covers over himself.

"Jack, your cast is gone," Sam looked from where his leg was hidden by the blanket, back to his face, and then back to the leg again.

"Healed. All of me. He pulled back the covers and turned his leg from side to side. "See? Good as new. Thor felt bad he wasn't here to assist in the rescue." He explained.

Dr. Brightman confirmed his recovery a while later. She said he could be released the next day, but wanted to keep him overnight for observation. To Sam's surprise he took it very well, explaining he wanted to have Teal'c read the end of the Hemingway book before he went home.

*******

The next day Sam, Daniel and Teal'c all drove Jack back to his house, although he pointed out that he could drive himself. They ordered pizza and Sam allowed Jack one beer. "I'm healed, I tell you. Healed!" Jack protested. No one paid any attention to him.

Sam was going to stay with Jack that night, so a while later, Daniel and Teal'c said their good-nights and went home.

Sam stood at the front door until they got into Daniel's car and backed down the driveway. As she closed the door, two arms came around her from behind. "Ah," a voice said in her ear. "Alone at last." Sam smiled and leaned back against Jack, reveling in the warmth of his body. She wrapped her arms around his where they encircled her waist, and tilted her head to the side to allow him to kiss her neck.

"We need to get you into bed," Sam murmured. Jack pressed his hips against her, letting her feel his very evident arousal. "I'm up for that, no pun intended, as long as you come with me."

"Jack," Sam turned in his arms. "I think you need to rest tonight. There's plenty of time for us to be together when you're better, stronger."

"Sam," Jack took her face in his hands. "What part of healed do you not understand? Thor made me good as new, remember? I don't need to get better or stronger. Already better, already stronger. What I NEED is you, in my bed, right now." He pulled her to him and kissed her with all the passion he was feeling.

When he finally released her, she looked up at him in a daze. "Wow."

"See? That's what I'm talking about." Jack took her hand and led her to his bedroom.

Much later Sam curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest. "I missed this." Her voice was sleepy.

"I missed you--and this," he murmured around a chuckle. "I gotta send Thor a 'thank-you' note you know?"

Sam grinned. "I was so afraid I'd lost you." She kissed his chest and returned her head to his chest. He stroked her hair.

"I was afraid I'd lost you, too, you know." Sam felt a catch in her throat. She raised her head to face him. "Did you mean what you said, you know, in the cave, when you thought we weren't going to get you out?"

Jack held her eyes steadily. "Every word of it."

Sam's eyes filled. "I want you to know, I feel the same way. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you."

Jack wiped a tear from her cheek. "Well, we're here now, and we're good, right?" Sam gave him a watery nod. "Well, you know, you could marry me and then our trip to someplace warm could be a honeymoon. What do you think?"

Sam's mouth dropped open. "Married? Really?"

"Well, only if you say 'yes,' then really, yeah."

"Okay, yes. Yes!" Sam kissed him soundly.

****

Four months later Jessica Davis sat on the patio of her Georgetown Town home, the one she'd selected for Paul but ended up sharing. Spring was coming quickly and she looked at all the trees and flowers preparing to blossom. She was nursing baby Sammie, rocking her back and forth while she nursed. Sammie was just about asleep  
and Jess gently stroked her head, smiling gently.

She heard the phone ring inside the house and called out, "Paul? Can you get that? I can't get up right now." The ringing stopped and Jess figured that meant Paul had answered.

Soon Paul came out onto the patio and handed Jess the phone, reaching down to run a finger down his daughter's nose. "It's Sam Carter for you. She has some news."

"Sam? Hey, it's Jessica. How are you? We got your postcard from Hawaii"

Jess handed the baby to Paul and while holding the receiver between shoulder and ear, managed to refasten her bra and shirt. "You what? Oh Sam! I'm so happy for you!" Paul, apparently not privy to the 'news' looked at his wife quizzically. She continued to talk to Sam for a few more minutes, then ended the call. Jess turned to her husband with a delighted look on her face. "Okay, what? What?" Paul opened his hands expectantly.

"Sam's pregnant. She's and the General are going to have a baby." She gave her husband a hug.

"Well, that's great news. Just great." Paul grinned. Jess pulled back a little to add, "Sam says to expect a little Paul or Paula in your future."

"Really? No kidding." Paul beamed.

"Both Sam and Jack are so grateful to you for all you've done for them, and after all, we named our baby after Sam."

"Well, I'd say I was richly rewarded already." Davis was now Colonel Davis, and he'd received a few medals for his efforts on that mountain. Jack had pinned his new rank insignia and the medals at a ceremony a few months ago. Davis certainly hadn't expected anything else.

Jess took Sammie from Paul and cooed to her, "You're going to have a new friend to play with soon, little girl."

Fin

*************


End file.
